Hello Spartan warriors.
If you read the last post, “10 Things To Be Aware Of Before Dating & Marrying A Spartan Racer,” and have decided that you are strong and brave enough to be in a relationship with a Spartan, well then this post is for you.
Valentines Day is just around the corner and that means that romance and LOVE making is in the air. Here are 10 things that you should plan and prep for when making LOVE to a Spartan.
10 Reasons Spartans Are Better In Bed. Or At Least More Interesting.
1-Don’t worry when your Spartan checks their watch to see what their heart rate is. I mean, you have to keep track of your heart rate when you are training for a BEAST. Training zones y’all.
2-Never close your eyes, because at any moment, your spartan could burpee, hand stand, and double forward flip right onto you. If your eyes are closed, I am telling you right now, severe injury can occur.
3-When your spartan shows up wearing this…
do not be afraid. And it was only $140 they tell you. WIN.
4-When your Spartan says..”Hold on baby, I have to run to the bathroom.” and then they come back wearing a weighted vest. Do not even worry about it. Why not kill two birds with one stone?
5-When your special person tells you to come on over, that they are planning on giving you an amazing massage. Then you see them pull this bad boy out…
brace yourself and hold on for dear life. It is kind of that pleasure-pain kind of thing. A little more pain than pleasure. 🙁
6-At some point your Spartan will want to get you all hot and heavy by whispering sweet nothings in your ear. It will go something like this..
Hey baby, are you ready for glory? Did you eat hearty tonight, cause tonight we DINE IN HELL. Who are we? We are SPARTAAAA. AROO, AROO, AROOO!
7-Don’t be surprised when your spartan tells you that their fantasy is that you are both ELITE runners out on the course and that both of you podium. OMG! That is sexy right there.
8-Instead of wine, get used to FITAID.
9-You thought those Gripslings were for working out. WRONG! Come on #STFU and just close your eyes.
10-When your Spartan comes over wearing nothing but their spartan headband, ohhhhh baby, shits about to get real. Business is about to go down and it is race time. Let’s hope for you it is more like a BEAST time then a SPRINT. 🙂
Plan on having a very HOT & INTERESTING night. One thing for sure, everything that Spartans do, they do with passion.
Valentines Day is one of my favorite holidays. Make sure to show your special Spartan some serious love.
See you out on course.
Much love, AMIE