Trauma is like a set of underground tunnels. Some of the tunnels can be long and others short but rocky. It is dark and scary, dirty, and sometimes you feel like there is no air to fill your lungs. You can run and run as fast as you can to reach the end of the tunnel only to find a dead-end and have to turn around and head back to where you started. You choose another tunnel to head down and it is a short sprint but you come to the end and it is stacked with hundreds of rocks blocking your way out.
There is little light and all you want is to feel it on your face giving you warmth. Even for a second. You are unsure of what to do, what to say to your family that is also wanting some strength. Parents always seem to have the answers for their children, but in these tunnels you are unsure of what to do.
Sometimes you just have to sit down to try to clear your mind, you try so hard to come up with a solution. This has never been hard for you. You have always been a warrior that can problem solve any problem. Sometimes you lose your breath for what seems to be minutes. You are sure that you might pass out.
There is LIGHT
Every time you have a positive thought about HOPE or LOVE or STRENGTH a little rock from the back of the tunnel keeping you from the light pops out. You see a little ray of light through the hole. You scream and cry so thankful that there is light at all. You push your kids faces up to the light so if there is any shining through they get to feel it. THERE IS HOPE.
My family has been going through these tunnels this year. We have had total fails and amazing successes. We have found so much light. We are searching for more and I am sure that we will find it. We have been down tunnels that are completely blocked but we know that the answer will come on how to get through.
We are warriors. We are fighters. We are action takers. We will not just sit in the dark and hope that the light shows up. We are finding it.
This is why it has been quiet on here lately. Sometimes you can’t do anything external. Sometimes the only people that you can give any energy to is yourself and your loved ones.
When my husband showed me this pic, my mind was flooded. I had to write it down and share with you.
One other thing I would like to express…
Life is so amazing. Yes, we go through trauma. Yes, sometimes it can be debilitating. But there is light out there. There is HOPE and we are living it and feeling it everyday. I feel like everything in my life up to now has helped me through this. I have always been STRONG, a warrior goddess. A spartan woman through and through. I love every day. Every smile, laugh, every hug from my family and friends. Every workout with my crew. Every spin ride that I get to teach. All the spartan courses that I get to run. All the messages that I get. EVERY SINGLE SMALL AMAZING NORMAL LIFE THING, I LOVE.
Have you liked my new Insta page? If not and you would like to. Find it below.
In hope, AMIE